Michael Yanks The Pineda On K Grenade
Early yesterday morning, on Mother's Day, Bill Hall hopped out of bed to the wail of sirens. There was a puppy tied to train tracks two miles from Bill's house and the train was due for a gruesome...
View ArticleThe Hambone Cometh, the NyQuil Taketh
Greetings! Surprise, tis not Grey the Elder God, nor Dan Pants, but I, Tehol Beddict, wordsmith and fantasy baseball extraordinaire. Some of you may have been wondering where my Game of Thrones post...
View ArticleGallo Is A Fine Wine Before It’s Time
Adrian Beltre was diagnosed with a dislocated left thumb. The doctor said it could be anywhere, his glove compartment, upstairs by the hamper, in the basement by the weights we bought you in high...
View ArticleChris B. Creaming Opposing Pitchers
Yankees outfielder Chris B. Young has been on fire in the past week and Krispie's monster week culminated in last nights 3-hit performance including a 3-run homer run, his ninth. Ol' Young has got...
View ArticleDraftKings: Play The Rush
Poker players tend to make good DFS players. Some of the top DFS pros are former poker pros. I think there are several reasons for this occurrence. First, there’s the element of the grind that is...
View ArticleTwin Cities Meteorologists Confused By July Sano Day
Kennys Vargas was demoted to Double-A. Shouldn't it be Double-Kenny? It's official, the Twins hate Vargas. They gave him all of about ten days to prove himself this time around. Maybe they just get off...
View ArticleBy George, Astros Amass Scott
A NASA engineer who plays fantasy, "Houston, we've Scott a pitcher!" Then he tries to high-five another NASA engineer, but their 180 IQs can't figure out a hand slap. A gay man in the Bay Area who...
View ArticleDaniel – Son of Chuck, and the Top 100 Starting Pitchers, Week 18
When Chuck conceived his son Daniel Norris, he was working on set in Asia with Mrs. Norris still living in the US! Wait, did that make any sense... I'll leave the Chuck Norris jokes to the frat boy...
View ArticleThe Usual Cespedes
Yoenis Cespedes went 3-for-5 with his 31st homer and, like, his 12th homer in the past week. Doode's straight combustible heat. Like a fatty steak on the grilling heat. Uh-oh, I feel my rap altar...
View ArticleEickhoff Up Nein Runs!
Fall in line, Metropolitans! Fall in line, you strumpets! *Jerad Eickhoff goose steps up and down the starting lineup, screaming* I am going to go nutzi on these weak sister Metropolitan hitters!...
View ArticleTop 20 Shortstops for 2016 Fantasy Baseball
The top 20 shortstops for 2016 fantasy baseball were once as bad as the top 20 2nd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball that I went over the other day. Now the shortstops have had an influx of youth --...
View ArticleClik here to view.
2016 Team Previews: Baltimore Orioles
Welcome to the 2016 Razzball Team Previews! You’ll find everything you need to know about each team to get yourself ready for the upcoming fantasy baseball season. And I mean everything, folks. We’ve...
View ArticleDraftKings: Rocky Mountain Hangover
The San Diego Padres just went on a scoring bender at Coors, putting up 32 runs over the past three days. Their scoring barrage comes just two days after throwing up triple zeros for the first three...
View ArticleDraftKings: Meet Erik, 35 Years Old
Meet Erik, 35 years old. After meeting a fantasy baseball expert on the internet, he took his last three dollars, entered it in the Early Moonshot on Monday, April 11, 2016, and won $5,000. His...
View ArticleNoah’s Ks Come Like His Bagels — By The Dozen
Noah Syndergaard steps into a giant metal milk can and submerges himself. At first, bubbles come up, then nothing. Only Houdini has ever been able to escape this, and even then Tony Curtis struggled...
View ArticleDraftKings: Winter Is Coming
Holy Shizz!!! Game of Thrones is back Snitches! The lead has nothing to do with DK today, but how could I pass up on celebrating the return of Jon Snow and Brienne of Tarth? Not a GOT fan? That's cool,...
View ArticleDraftKings: #LATOS
If you happen to be a non-millennial reading this then you remember a time when # meant “Pound” and didn’t mean “Hashtag”. If you are a millennial you’ve likely already skipped this intro and skimmed...
View ArticleRazzNasty League Update: Mentok The Mind Taker
There's embarrassment and then there's having to cover in detail a fantasy baseball league you're nearly dead last in. So begins our first monthly update on the in house dynasty league "The RazzNasty"....
View ArticleDevin In A Red Mess
Devin Mesoraco was diagnosed with a torn labrum in his shoulder after missing most of last year with a torn labrum in his hip. My Latin may be off, but I believe tearing two labrums means severe...
View ArticleAddressing The Giancarlo In The Room
Aw, man, now we're left with the ominous team updates of "Giancarlo Stanton is not in lineup, no other news available." I think I need to have a talk with him. Maybe I'll hide in the trunk of his car...
View Article