DraftKings: The Best, Sir, Is Lester
Tuesday doesn't mark the 2016 Presidential Election, but there is no doubt a clear choice at starting pitcher tonight. The Cubs, who recently clinched the NL Central Division, are sailing into the...
View ArticleDraftKings: Congratulations, It’s Twins!
Can you imagine such a surprise thing in the delivery room? I can barely fathom the idea of fatherhood, let alone the extra money and work having two babies at one time can be. Thankfully, this isn't a...
View ArticleDraftKings: Colby Lewis And The Blues
I always get a bit sentimental this time of year. The leaves start changing, green turns to vibrant orange, crisp yellow, lavish purple. The thought that I'm getting older creeps into the back of my...
View ArticleTop 20 Shortstops for 2017 Fantasy Baseball
The shortstops are stacked, yo. They are stacked like Dolly Parton on top of a stack of hotcakes. There is gorge as far as the eye can see. If a young boy happened upon this post, he would see love...
View ArticleA Karnival of Curves……. And The Top 100 Pitchers
Is there anything better than baseball on a rainy Saturday afternoon? You can't do any yard work, you know, because it's pouring, so you settle into your favorite chair, crack a beer, and you're...
View ArticleBaltimore Had The Bundy But Kluber Brought The King Kong
Since Corey Kluber returned from the DL, he's been lights out. Then lights on. Then off. On. Off! Nothing but glow sticks. The sweet smell of body odor, ganja and herbal ecstasy rises. An Asian...
View ArticleFanDuel: Ace(s) in Spades
It’s the second-last day of the regular season, and I feel like I’m back at Opening Day, there’s such a smorgasbord of pitchers to roll around in (so to speak): Kluber (vs. the White Sox, $12,000),...
View ArticleDaniel – Son of Chuck, and the Top 100 Starting Pitchers, Week 18
When Chuck conceived his son Daniel Norris, he was working on set in Asia with Mrs. Norris still living in the US! Wait, did that make any sense... I'll leave the Chuck Norris jokes to the frat boy...
View ArticleThe Usual Cespedes
Yoenis Cespedes went 3-for-5 with his 31st homer and, like, his 12th homer in the past week. Doode's straight combustible heat. Like a fatty steak on the grilling heat. Uh-oh, I feel my rap altar...
View ArticleEickhoff Up Nein Runs!
Fall in line, Metropolitans! Fall in line, you strumpets! *Jerad Eickhoff goose steps up and down the starting lineup, screaming* I am going to go nutzi on these weak sister Metropolitan hitters!...
View ArticleTop 20 Shortstops for 2016 Fantasy Baseball
The top 20 shortstops for 2016 fantasy baseball were once as bad as the top 20 2nd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball that I went over the other day. Now the shortstops have had an influx of youth --...
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2016 Team Previews: Baltimore Orioles
Welcome to the 2016 Razzball Team Previews! You’ll find everything you need to know about each team to get yourself ready for the upcoming fantasy baseball season. And I mean everything, folks. We’ve...
View ArticleDraftKings: Rocky Mountain Hangover
The San Diego Padres just went on a scoring bender at Coors, putting up 32 runs over the past three days. Their scoring barrage comes just two days after throwing up triple zeros for the first three...
View ArticleDraftKings: Meet Erik, 35 Years Old
Meet Erik, 35 years old. After meeting a fantasy baseball expert on the internet, he took his last three dollars, entered it in the Early Moonshot on Monday, April 11, 2016, and won $5,000. His...
View ArticleNoah’s Ks Come Like His Bagels — By The Dozen
Noah Syndergaard steps into a giant metal milk can and submerges himself. At first, bubbles come up, then nothing. Only Houdini has ever been able to escape this, and even then Tony Curtis struggled...
View ArticleDraftKings: Winter Is Coming
Holy Shizz!!! Game of Thrones is back Snitches! The lead has nothing to do with DK today, but how could I pass up on celebrating the return of Jon Snow and Brienne of Tarth? Not a GOT fan? That's cool,...
View ArticleDraftKings: #LATOS
If you happen to be a non-millennial reading this then you remember a time when # meant “Pound” and didn’t mean “Hashtag”. If you are a millennial you’ve likely already skipped this intro and skimmed...
View ArticleRazzNasty League Update: Mentok The Mind Taker
There's embarrassment and then there's having to cover in detail a fantasy baseball league you're nearly dead last in. So begins our first monthly update on the in house dynasty league "The RazzNasty"....
View ArticleDevin In A Red Mess
Devin Mesoraco was diagnosed with a torn labrum in his shoulder after missing most of last year with a torn labrum in his hip. My Latin may be off, but I believe tearing two labrums means severe...
View ArticleAddressing The Giancarlo In The Room
Aw, man, now we're left with the ominous team updates of "Giancarlo Stanton is not in lineup, no other news available." I think I need to have a talk with him. Maybe I'll hide in the trunk of his car...
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